There’s something so comforting about having your dog curl up, snuggle, or drape themselves over you. Even when it’s not all that convenient, having your dog treat you as their safe place is undeniably special. So it can be a point of contention between couples when a canine family member is showing favoritism towards one person, leaving many to ask why does my dog sleep on me and not my husband?
It might be tempting to simply assert that your dog prefers your company to your husband’s, but it’s often not quite that straightforward. In fact, we’re going to take a look at 10 possible reasons why a dog may choose one half of a couple over another, and discuss why your husband shouldn’t necessarily feel rejected, or try to upset the status quo.
The 10 Reasons Your Dog Sleeps on You and Not Your Husband
1. You are the primary caregiver.
Even in the most equal of households, it’s normal for there to be one person who tends to do more of the feeding, walking, letting out to the toilet etc. If that person is you, then there’s a good chance that your dog will see you in more of a maternal role (whether you are male, female, or anything in between). Your dog almost certainly loves your husband just as much, but your differing roles and actions will impact how your dog sees and interacts with you.
2. You have a more calm energy.
Some people naturally exude a calming energy on those around them, while others are more on edge, nervous, or energetic. Perhaps your husband is ‘the fun one’ that plays, wrestles, and throws the ball, while you are the person who makes your dog feel settled and sleepy.
3. You smell better.
To your dog at least. Dogs experience so much of their world through their sense of smell, with scents and pheromones having a huge impact on their mood, behavior, and experience. You might have a natural scent, wear a perfume, or work with something that smells good to your dog, or creates a sense of calm and wellbeing, so it’s only natural that they would want to snuggle up to you.
4. They smell worse.
No judgment here! If your husband spends the day with chemicals, animals, or anything else that might be unpleasant to your dog’s sensitive olfactory senses, they are going to be less inclined to cuddle up and fall asleep with them. This could also include a cologne, body spray, or deodorant that might smell great to us, but repel your dog.
5. Your routines are in sync.
Dogs are creatures of habit and take comfort in having a routine. If your bedtime, tv time, or relaxing times are more consistent, your dog may prefer to schedule their naps to coincide with your timetable.
6. You give them more attention and affection.
If you are constantly stroking your dog, tickling their ears, or rubbing their belly, this sort of attention will not go unnoticed. When a dog’s basic needs of food, shelter, and safety have been provided, the next thing they will be on the lookout for is pleasure and company. If you are able to provide both, then you will be the one they gravitate towards.
7. Your position in the ‘pack’.
Although the idea of the canine dominance hierarchy is not as widely accepted as it used to be, we still recognize that there are specific roles and relationships within a pack that will impact how individuals will interact with one another. For example, a dog that has more of a leadership role is unlikely to find itself at the bottom of the sleeping pile, while a youngster is not going to be taking the top spot. If your husband is seen by your dog as a stronger leader, your dog may not feel that it is appropriate to sleep on top of them.
This doesn’t mean that sleeping on you is a sign of disrespect, just that they may see you more as a nurturer than a leader.
8. You are under their protection.
As mentioned above, dogs tend to fulfill different roles within their pack or family group, and one of those is of guard or protector. If your dog has taken on this sort of responsibility in your home, they may simply be affording you their top level of defense. This could be because they see you as being of higher value than your husband, or in need of a greater level of protection – we’ll leave that to you to figure out!
9. You spoil them.
Admit it: are you sneaking your dog extra treats in exchange for affection? There’s no shame in it, unless your pampered pooch is packing on the extra pounds. If you are seen as the ‘soft touch’ in the house, your dog is obviously going to want to stay close, and that includes falling asleep on you too.
10. You move around less.
Perhaps you tend to stay settled in one place, make fewer trips to the bathroom or kitchen, or fidget less, allowing your dog to stay comfortable and sleep. It doesn’t take long for dogs to work out whose lap gives them a better quality snooze!
How Can I Get My Dog To Sleep On My Husband More?
If you’re wanting to encourage your dog to spend more time snoozing on your significant other, whether it’s because they are feeling neglected or you want a break from constantly being under your dog, there are some things you can do to make this happen. However, make sure you’re doing it for the right reasons.
Changing your dog’s routine and relationships within the home can be stressful, especially if we change the rules frequently. If your husband would like to have more snuggle time with your dog, the simplest way to approach this is to look at the 10 reasons above, and see which ones you might tweak in their favor. You won’t be able to manipulate them all, but there are some that your husband can work on.
For example, they can:
- Become the primary caregiver – if they aren’t doing much of the day-to-day canine care, they can make a point of taking over some of these responsibilities. You might divide them into morning and evening feeding roles, or have one person in charge of meals while the other takes care of walks.
- Become more calm and still – this might not be as easy as it sounds, but it also might benefit them in more ways than one! Get them to take some time out each day to properly relax, practice mindfulness or meditation, put down their phone, and focus on sitting still.
- Be more attentive – when the dog is with them, make sure they are being generous with their affection, always keeping one hand stroking them.
- Hit the shower – whether it’s something they might be exposed to at work, or an objectionable aftershave, a thorough wash with plain soap might increase their nose-appeal.
- Take over as treat giver – we don’t want to overload your dog with snacks, so if you would like your husband to enjoy more time with your sleeping dog, allow him to be the main provider of treats for a while.
Final Thoughts
If your dog sleeps on you and not your husband, it doesn’t necessarily mean that they prefer you over him (although it might!). Most of the time it is a reflection of the different roles and relationships you have in the home, the way in which you interact and relax with your dog, and the vibes you give off when your dog is ready for a nap.
You shouldn’t force your dog to do anything that will cause them stress or worry, and if you’re happy to have them sleeping on you, then enjoy the warmth and affection. But if your husband is feeling left out in the cold, or you are needing a break, you can try some of the changes above to encourage your dog to see your husband as a soft place to sleep as well.
Featured Image Credit: Elena Shvetsova, Shutterstock
